Purpose of Life

Ever wondered what the purpose of life is? What role do I have in this world?  Why are things so hard? Are my trials ever going to end? Am I ever going to get a break? I know I have thought those things many times. I still often wonder why I seem to have so many trials. What am I doing wrong so that I have to keep repeating the same trial over and over again? I try so hard to do what is right and what is expected of me.  But nothing ever seems to work out the way I plan. Often times I have to remind myself that I can't see the big picture.  I am only seeing a small glimpse of things and that Heavenly Father knows what is in store for me and that He is directing me in the path that I need to go in. It just gets really hard some times. And I am worn out. I feel like I have been constantly running and I never get a break. But then I get a second wind and I pick up the pace and plow through anything that gets in my way. And for a while things seem like they are going well.  Then something happens and I am knocked back to where I started.  Talk about frustrating.  Someday I will reach the finish line.

I often look at the people around me (I am a people watcher - not the creepy kind) and see how happy they are.  They always look like they are having fun.  I hear people tell me about the things they have done and the things they are going to do and I think to myself, "Why am I not able to do those things?  Why is my life so boring?". Heck, I wonder why anyone would even want to be around me most of the time. I don't watch much TV so I can't hold any conversations about TV shows.  I don't care about actors, sports stars, team stats or cars. I don't have anything in common with most people.  Makes it kinda hard to have a normal conversation.  Sometimes I wish I was a normal person who had normal interests.  Then maybe my life wouldn't seem so boring. 

But then I look at the things I have done in my life.  The things I like to do.  And I realize that I am just fine. I am the type of person that prefers to have a few good friends and not a lot of "acquaintances" that I talk to every once in a while. Maybe that is why I like being in the great outdoors so much.  Sure visiting a big city every once in a while is nice but I prefer the quiet of the mountain forests and the company of a few select people. I would even give up computers to live in the mountains.  I know some people wouldn't believe that but it is totally true.  I would be just fine living in the middle of nowhere without any technology to keep my company. But since that won't ever happen I will continue to live as much in the virtual world as in the real world.

So now that you have had a glimpse into my crazy mind, and you think I am totally nuts, I will tell you this.  I am as normal as anyone else.  Who defines normal?  How do you know that you aren't the one that is crazy? Hmm.  Stuff to ponder :)