Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Ads on My Blog

Have you ever wondered why I have ads on my blog?  I have them there to make a little extra money.  It isn't much but hey, everything helps, right? So if you see something that interests you feel free to click the ad and check it out.  You will be doing me a favor in doing so :)

Also, you might see me post an advertisement every once in a while.  This is because I have signed up to post sponsored ads.  As of yet I haven't had any but I am hoping to have some soon.  I could use a little extra money right before the Holidays.

I have tried to make it so the ads don't make my blog look too ugly. The nice thing about the ads that are shown kinda go along with what I have been blogging about so they are somewhat relevant to me. Kinda cool how Google does that.

Grading Papers

Can you imagine a nun sitting at her desk grading these papers, all the while trying to keep a straight face and maintain her composure!

PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST. KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.




1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.

2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE . NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.

3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.

4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.


6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.

7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS ..

8. THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNTCYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.

10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.

11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLEOF GERITOL .

12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.

13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.

14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND
700 PORCUPINES.

15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.

16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.

17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.

18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.

19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.

20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.

21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.

22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.

23.ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.

24. ST.. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.

25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Bored

Lately I have been really bored. It isn't that I don't have anything to do, its just that I don't feel like doing anything that I do have to do. I need something new and different to do...

Thursday, August 18, 2011

When it rains it pours

This week has really sucked so far. It has been a really expensive week. It started off with us shelling out $100 for a new windshield on our van. Then Tuesday one of the tires blew out on the van while on the freeway. I knew my van needed two new tires but I was hoping that they would make it another month. But they didn't. So we had to spend another $237 for tires. Then on Wed. Leona got a speeding ticket for going 35 in a 35 zone. Unfortunately there was construction and they posted the speed limit at 25. Fortunately the officer didn't cite her for the construction zone so the fine isn't double. I just hope that the rest of the week doesn't have any unexpected expenses. I can't afford that. I am already broke.

Here is hoping for a nice, expense free weekend.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Camping

We managed to go camping this weekend.  It was nice.  I took a couple days off work and we went to South Fork for a couple nights. I love to camp.  I could camp every weekend if I was able to.  We didn't get to go to Yellowstone this year (much to my kids - and my - disappointment) but we managed to get some camping in.  I am hoping to go camping again before the snow falls.

One funny thing to point out is that the campground we were in (Upper Meadows) only has outhouses. After two days Star was saying that she wanted to go home because home has toilets that flush. The funny thing about that is she has a bad habit of not flushing the toilets.  So I don't know why an outhouse was such a big deal for her. It isn't like she is doing anything different at home most of the time.  I just thought that was kinda funny.

Despite the heat (it was really hot in the afternoon because our campsite didn't have much shade in the afternoon hours) we had a good time.  I am the only one that got sunburned (and it wasn't much of a burn).  We had no major injuries.  Star only tripped over our canopy cords and fell once.  No one else did surprisingly (in Yellowstone last year we all tripped over the cords at least once). All in all it was a good trip.  We made a point of not taking any electronic devices with us. I know that is a big thing for me because most of my day is spent on a computer of some kind.  But when I am in the mountains I don't need anything but a good book and some shade to enjoy myself.  Getting away from all the fast paced craziness of my normal life is a real battery recharger.  I need to go camping more often.

Not only was this our first camping trip this year it was Leona and my 11th anniversary.  Last year we were in Yellowstone for our anniversary.  I think it would be nice to make it a tradition to be camping for our anniversary.  Leona would disagree with that but it has worked out the last 2 years.  I am hoping for more :)

Our friend, Karen, and her kids went up with us for the first night.  Her kids and my kids all get along really well and they all had a lot of fun.  My kids were bored to death after Karen and her kids left.  Eventually they found ways to entertain themselves but next time Karens kids are going to have to stay the whole time so my kids don't drive me crazy when they get bored.

If you want to see pictures of our trip check out Leona's blog.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Having a bad day at work?

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy...

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in   Louisiana . He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2   FM in  Ft. Wayne ,   Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

 Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.

 Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling    down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you 
realize it's not so bad after all.

 Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool.

So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose  and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. With in a few seconds my butt started to burn.  I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony, I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine   had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'

Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day...!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Saturday, July 30, 2011

The Gloves are Coming Off!!

For those of you that don't know, I am the committee chairman of the cub scouts here in the branch. I was called to get things started. Well, I have done that -- barely. I have run into a problem. The problem I have is that we have no leaders. Fortunately Sister Wheelright and Sister Saddler have been taking on the role of den leaders for some of the boys. I am extremely grateful for their efforts. But since they are in the primary presidency they have many other things to be doing. But they are willing to sacrifice what little time they have to make sure these boys get to enjoy cub scouts.

What is frustrating for me is the fact that we can't seem to get anyone to help out.  There are plenty of people in the branch that would make great leaders.  I don't know if the reason they aren't is because they haven 't been called to the position or because they aren't willing to do it.  From what I have been told it is because people keep turning down the opportunity.  I think that is more frustrating than anything.  We have all these boys that are in need of the cub scout program and yet no one is willing to put forth any time or effort to help them. It is so sad.

To those that aren't willing to accept the calling I ask why?  For those that say it is because they already have a calling all I have to say is that is no excuse.  You live in a branch.  You should plan on having more than one calling unless you are in a presidency position. One calling is nothing.  Heck, two callings is nothing.  Right now I have three. And that isn't counting home teaching as a calling, or the fact that I am standing in for the cub master that we don't have. Plus I get called on all the time to help out with other things.  My wife has three callings as well. She has run into the same problem with the Activity days program. She can't get help either.  And they only hold meetings twice a month.  So come on people.  Stop declining callings because you already have one.  That is no excuse here.  I know that is harsh of me to say but it is the truth.  This branch has a lot of good people in it.  But the only way the branch is going to function is if people are willing to make sacrifices to keep things running.  For those of you that have never been in a presidency position you have no idea how much time is put into their callings.  They do way more than they should be because people aren't willing to help them out.  I know.  I have been in that position (and still am in a way).  It is very frustrating and tiring at the same time. 

Another thing that is frustrating are those that accept the calling and then don't do anything with it.  Don't accept a calling if you don't plan on fulfilling that calling to the best of your ability.  I know that people are busy.  We all are here in the branch.  Extra time is hard to come by.  But I know that people can make time for their callings.  No matter what the calling is.  A lot of people have "Sunday" callings.  Teaching callings and such.  I know that you have to put more time into the calling than just on Sundays.  One of my callings right now is an Elders Quorum teacher. I used to teach Sunday school.  I know what it takes to keep things running in the branch.  Even the smallest calling can be time consuming.  But it is a sacrifice that is well worth it.  So to those that say they don't have time for a calling, make time.  You will be glad you did. The blessings are well worth the sacrifice.  Trust me.  I used to be one of those people that thought that I didn't have time to do what I was asked.  But I have changed my ways and I am glad I did.  The blessings far out weight the time you lost that you would have spent watching TV or playing games.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

As A Man Thinketh

A wise man stood at the gate of an ancient city and greeted travelers as they arrived.  One day, a traveler asked him: “What kind of people live in this city?”
            The wise man responded with a question of his own: “What kind of people lived in the city from whence you came?”
            “Oh, they were very bad people,” answered the traveler, “cruel, deceitful, and devil-worshipping.”
            “You’ll find the same kind of people in this city,” sighed the wise man.
            Some time later, a second traveler came to the gate and asked about the people in the city.  The wise man again asked his question:
            “What kind of people lived in the city from whence you came?”
            “Oh, they were very good people,” answered the second traveler, “hard-working, generous, and God-fearing.”
            “You’ll find the same kind of people in this city,” smiled the wise man.
                        -- As told by Kimberly Evans Jones

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Computer Troubleshooting Blog

I am thinking I might start a computer troubleshooting blog. This blog would have everything from easy fixes to advanced virus removal techniques. I just don't know if it would be worth my time to put something like that together. So I am posting this and putting up a vote on the blog for people to vote. Be sure and vote.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Attitude

If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don’t;
If you’d like to win, but you think you can’t,
It’s almost certain you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’ve lost;
For out in the world you’ll find
Things begin with a fellow’s will;
It’s all in the sate of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are;
You’ve got to think high to rise;
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man;
But sooner or later the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Torn

I have had a lots going on in my life lately. It seems like stuff just keeps piling on. It is really starting to annoy me. It seems like I will never get ahead. No matter what I do or how hard I try things just keep getting worse and not better. Good thing I am not a quitter and I handle stress really well.

Right now the thing that has got me down the most is what is going on with soccer. I have just been able to start playing again after six weeks of being out injured. I tell you what, a torn MCL is not fun. It could have been worse though so I am grateful that it wasn't severe. But it was bad enough that even after almost two months it still hurts. The pain comes and goes but it is definitely there. Because of the injury I have gotten really out of shape. I also missed almost the entire soccer season. I don't mind standing on the sidelines being the coach. But when I should be out on the field playing it is really hard. It got frustrating standing there not being able to help my team. Once I was able to play again I was out of shape and couldn't keep up. That was really frustrating for me. I spent the whole winter making sure I was in good shape for the season only to have this happen in the first game. But I survived.

Now I have a real dilemma to deal with. I have been so flustered with things lately that I have seriously considered not doing the team any more. When I have practices like tonight where one person comes to practice it really makes me feel like I am the only one that really cares about the team. I know there are some people that can't come that would be there all the time and I understand that. But what gets me is people want to improve their game but they don't come to practice. I wonder if they think that the way I do my practices isn't going to improve their skills like running drills would. But I know from 25 years of playing and several years of coaching that drills will only gain you so much. Yes you need to do them. And we do. But most of the time we just scrimmage. I do this for several reasons. One, it is to get everyone in shape. By the end of the first half everyone is worn out. The second half is where you really need your energy so being in shape is very important. My game will definitely help with that. Second, I do it to practice the same things we would practice doing drills. Only in a game setting you learn faster. Passing drills are great but how often do you have a nice easy open pass option available to you? Often times you have someone running at you and you have to pass between two opponents. It is hard to practice that with just drills. Third, I use the small nets to help people improve their accuracy. Not only does it help improve shots on goal it helps you develop more ball control skills as well as passing skills. When you pass the ball to a teammate you have a smaller target to hit than those nets. Fourth, I do it so we can get a feel for how each other plays. That is probably one of the most important things to know in a team sport. You have to develop a trust in each other. You have to be willing to pass the ball to everyone on the team. Sure you can develop that team oneness by just playing in real games, but it takes a lot more time than the season allows. So splitting up into two teams and playing helps speed the process up. Fifth, I do it to make practice fun. Trust me. Doing nothing but drills for an hour and a half is not fun. Not fun at all. This league is about having fun. If the games are supposed to be fun then the practices should definitely be fun. So I do my best to make them fun. There are several more reasons that I do things the way I do but I won't list any more.

The thing that has me so torn is whether or not to continue the team. I really want to. I love the game. I hate not playing whenever I can. But it has been really hard keeping the team going. We lose at least half the team every year and we have to find new players. That makes it hard. It doesn't help that our winning record isn't all that great. I like the team we have right now. I think we have great team morale and that makes things fun for everyone. I would love to keep this team the way it is. But I don't think that will happen. It seems that people have been slowly dropping out. We used to have a good turnout at practices. Now we have pretty much no turnout. That breaks my heart. It makes me feel like I am not a good coach. Which in turn makes me feel like not running the team anymore. I could easily find a team to play on and then I wouldn't have to deal with all the manager stuff. It would certainly give me more free time and let me enjoy the game more. But at the same time I feel like it would be giving up my best friend.

So I have a short time to decide what I want to do. I just hope that everything works out so that I can still play the game and have fun doing it.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Life Sucks

Have I ever mentioned that life can realy suck sometimes? Right now my life is at a really sucky point. I won't go into details right now though. I just hope that things get better soon because I am getting tired of all this suckiness.

Monday, June 20, 2011

My new toy

I am writing this post with my new toy. My work bought me a Samsung Galaxy 10.1 tablet. It is quite nice and I am enjoying it. Gotta love a company that spoils their employees every once in a while.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Summer Craziness

It has been a while since I posted anything on my blog. Things have been a bit crazy around my house lately. But then that is nothing new. My house always seems to be crazy. There is always a million things going on. So lets see. Where to begin...

The last post was about how I injured my knee. Well, there was good news and bad news with that. The results of the MRI showed that I didn't tear my meniscus. That was great news because that meant I didn't need surgery. The bad news was that I almost completely tore my MCL and completely tore some Osteo-something tendon that is in the middleish area of my knee. So that meant that I would be out from soccer for 6 weeks. Talk about bad news. What made it worse was it was the first game of the season. So I have been standing on the sidelines watching my team wishing I could be out there with them. But come Friday I will be back on the field. I am so excited. I have practiced a couple times with the team and haven't had much pain so I am good to go. The worst part of it all is that I am now really out of shape. So I will probably die during the game. Oh well. I am working on that. I am just happy that I can finally play again.

Next on my list would be Cub Scouts. I am the committee chairman and so far things have been tough getting started. We did have our fist pack meeting last month and it went well. We only had like 4 boys come though. I am hoping for double that this month. We are still trying to get all our leaders in place. That has proven to be quite a challenge. No one seems to want to do it. So I have been filling in as cub master since we don't have one. On top of all of that I need to start getting the scouting program started because I am the committee chairman of that as well. That might have to wait until the end of the summer before I can get that going. Right now my focus is cub scouts because the scouts have mutual to go to every week and the cubs don't have anything. The younger cubs have been having den meetings and now we have a two deep leadership in place for the older boys so now we can get their den meetings going. I just need to find some people for the middle boys. Hopefully soon that will be in place.

On top of all of this we have been trying to get Leona and the kids out to Cali for their summer trip to visit her family. Things have been rough this year because her dad hasn't been able to help out financially at all on the trip. Normally he buys his plane ticket out here and helps with the gas money for the drive back. He was injured at work last winter so he hasn't had the extra income he normally has so he hasn't been able to do that. So I have had to scrounge up every penny I had to get the wife and kids to Cali. But they made it there. So I am a bachelor for the next month. But trying to get them out there took a lot of effort and now I have to try to get everything in the house back in order. So I will be plenty busy even with the family gone.

So I have lots going on in my life right now. To top it all off, I am kinda looking for a part time evening job so I can pay off some debt. So far things haven't worked out because nothing seems to work with my other jobs schedule. I could always go back into retail but I would only do that as a last resort. I hate working retail. I did my time in retail and I was so glad the day I got out of it. I really don't want to go back. So I am hoping I will get lucky and find something that works for me.

I am going to call it good for this post. There is so much more to say but I don't feel like typing it all out right now. Maybe tomorrow I will get around to it...