Mississippi Declares War

President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang. "Hello, President Obama” a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is Jimmy Boy, down here at Bump's Catfish Shack, in Vicksburg, and I am callin' to tell ya’ll that we are officially declaring war on y'all!"

"Well Jimmy Boy," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Jimmy Boy, after a moments calculation "there is myself, my cousin Tom, my next-door-neighbor and brother Gerald, and the whole dart team from JD's Bait Shop. That makes eight or maybe nine depending if Bump can close the store.

Barack paused. "I must tell you Jimmy Boy that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Wow," said Jimmy Boy. "I'll have to call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Jimmy Boy called again. “Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Jimmy Boy?" Barack asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and my brother Mike’s farm tractor."

President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Jimmy Boy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."

"Lord above", said Jimmy Boy, "I'll be getting back to ya."

Sure enough, Jimmy Boy called again the next day. “President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Well, sir," said Jimmy Boy, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over sweet tea, catfish, greens and pie and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed that many prisoners."

SOUTHERN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN

My mother taught me...

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next
week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA..
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have
wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite:
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !"

Only you folks my age understand these profound statements!!!
But, there is one missing from this list~~My personal all time favorite!!

My mother taught me about CHOICE.
"Do you want me to stop this car?"

Swagbucks

You may have noticed posts on my FB wall about swagbucks. You may also be wondering what Swagbucks is.  Let me tell you. Swagbucks is a free website where you earn swagbucks.  You use swagbucks to buy stuff.  It is really easy to earn swagbucks and they have some really great stuff you can get.  Right now I am saving up to get this stereo system and this awesome telescope. There are a lot of other really cool things that I will get once I get the speakers and the telescope.  You should check it out.

I know it sounds like one of those too good to be true things but this one isn't.  And it is easy to do.  You get swagbucks from searching the web (which is the way I get most of my swagbucks), taking surveys and pulls, playing games, watching their TV stations (they have a mobile app that I use to get 50 swagbucks a day without any effort at all), and a bunch of other ways to get swagbucks.  You can even earn swagbucks by printing out coupons from their website and using them in stores.  Nothing like saving money and earning swagbucks at the same time (yes, I have done this and have earned a few hundred swagbucks so far from it).

I would say that swagbucks is something you should try.  I know this post sounds like a commercial. But I really do like swagbucks and I thought I would share it (and yes, I do get swagbucks from referring people - and you can too once you sign up :) ). So click here or the banner below to check it out and get signed up!!

Oh, if you do sign up and you want to know some great tips and tricks to getting swagbucks fast just let me know.  I will tell you all my secrets for getting them fairly quickly.  It really is easy to get swagbucks.

To be 6 Again

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday. I'd like to be six again, she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of  Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well Dear, what was it like being six again??" Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. I meant my dress size, you idiot!

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

Pre-surgery Discussion

Two little boys are in a hospital, lying on beds next to each other outside the Operating Room. The first kid leans over and asks, 'What are you in here for?' The second kid says, 'I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous.'

The first kid says, 'You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze.'

The second kid then asks, 'What are you in here for?'

The first kid says, 'A circumcision.'

And the second kid says, 'Whoa, good luck with that one, buddy! I had that done when I was BORN ... Couldn't walk for a year."

Quote of the day

"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt. " - Abraham Lincoln

My Battle with a Tumor

I would like to share my feelings and perspective with everything that has gone on the last couple weeks.  For those of you who don't know about Skyler's tumor check out Leona's Blog for all the details.  To keep this somewhat short I won't go into a lot of details that Leona has already covered in her blog.  I will just add my perspective to it all.

Nothing can be more nerve wracking than finding out your 6-year-old has a tumor on his kidney.  Then finding out that the kidney will have to be removed with the tumor (and probably the adrenal gland too). Then finding out that the tumor is most likely a Wilms tumor and is malignant so he will need chemotherapy. Then setting up the surgery to remove the tumor the next day and doing all the paper work for it.  We found all that out in the course of about 10 hours.  Skyler went through an ultrasound, 2 CT scans and had a chest x-ray done.  Plus they took blood.  The poor kid wasn't allowed to eat the whole time.  So he was starving and freaking out. Watching your little boy go through that is rough.  Then you throw in a wife who automatically assumes the worst and starts freaking out it only adds to everything.  Needless to say, that was a rough day for my family. Now if you would have seen me by the end of it you would not have been able to really tell that I was there for all of it.  Some might have thought that none of it had really sunk into it yet.  Others would say I was in denial. And some would even think that I didn't care that my son was just diagnosed with a tumor that was probably malignant. But that wasn't the case at all. I fully understood everything that was going on.  I also knew what Skyler was going to be going through. But if you know me well you will know that I roll with whatever comes my way.  I take whatever life throws at me and I just keep going.  Yes, I do have emotions and yes I was having a lot of different feelings racing through me from all that had happened.

I have handled this all rather well I think.  I am optimistic about all the goings on.  I had complete trust in the doctors and surgeons and knew they would take care of my boy.  So I had nothing to worry about.  The one thing through all of this that caught me off guard was all the love and support we got.  I figured we would get support from family and a few close friends and that was about it.  Boy was I wrong. We got support from just about everywhere.  It was amazing.  We even had 500 bikers from Leona's uncles bike gang praying for Skyler.  Talk about crazy.  The love and support we were given was almost overwhelming.  I know I don't show a lot of emotions but the overwhelming love and support actually brought tears to my eyes.

Now I can't go without mentioning the Lords hand in all of this.  I know that it was Him that took care of Skyler and made sure he was ok.  I knew that he wouldn't let Skyler get any worse than he was.  I was never worried that he would take a turn for the worse or anything.  I think knowing that the Lord wouldn't let anything really bad happen to Skyler is probably made it so easy for me to remain calm. It is amazing what the power of the Spirit can do to comfort you in times of trials.

Now that the surgeries are all done we can try to get back to our normal life.  Skyler is on the mend.  He has been super strong through this whole thing.  There were times when Skyler was comforting his mom at the hospital when she was starting to lose it.  He would tell her he was ok.  He is such a great kid. He is healing faster than expected and I hope he will be back to his normal routines in a few weeks.  But we are taking it one day at a time.

I would like to thank everyone for their love and support the last few weeks.  We have definitely felt it.  I am grateful for all that everyone has given and is still giving.  It has made a huge difference in my life.

Ok.  So I was reading over this and I decided that I didn't really say much about it all from my perspective.  But this is a long post already so I will save that for another day.  I am hoping that soon I will have more time to write it all down. But for now this will have to do.

Quote of the day

"Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft!" - Theodore Roosevelt

Getting a Little Extra Money

Ever wonder how to get a little bit of extra money?  Here are a few of the things that I do that get me a little extra money.  Not a lot, but hey every little bit helps :)

Getting paid to read emails:
Sends you emails and you get paid for clicking on the link in the email. It doesn't pay much but if you get referrals it can increase what you get by a lot. It is an easy way to get money for a date night.

This site has a lot of fun stuff. You get paid for all kinds of things.  I generally just do the paid emails (2 cents per email you get) and the surveys( I have made a few dollars on these).  I have only been using this site for a few weeks now and have earned almost $14.00 so far.  I think it has some pretty good potential.  You make the most off surveys and they usually don't take all that long to do.

Earning Prizes/Gift Cards:

You Can Get Free Gift Cards For Shopping, Searching and Discovering What's Online at Swagbucks.com


This one is my favorite. You earn "Swagbucks" for doing all kinds of things.  Searching, watching video trailers, and a whole lot more.  They have apps for you smart phones that you can use to earn tons of swagbucks. You use the swagbucks to get all kinds of items.  I have been doing this for a couple of months now had have enough swagbucks to get a $50 Amazon gift card.  I have found that you can earn swagbucks even faster if you refer people to it.  They have so many ways to earn swagbucks it is pretty much easy.  I earn a ton just by using their mobile TV app on my tablet.  I let it go through all the videos (movie and game trailers - and a comedy channel even) while I am off doing something else. It is great.  I would recommend this one for everyone.  If you do go with swagbucks be sure to install the toolbar and set it up as your default search.  That is the fastest way to earn swagbucks.

I am like most people and am skeptical about most of the get money from doing everyday things, but these three companies are legit.  I have even gotten a check from SendMoreInfo before so I know they pay out like they say they do.  So give it a go.  After all, who wouldn't want free stuff and some extra money in their pocket?

Bad Luck

Bad luck seems to always follow me around.  It seems like everything bad happens to me and I never seem to get a break.  Take this year for example.  Two days into the year Star breaks here wrist.  That adds a nice chunk of medical expenses to my list of bills.  And now my leg is in a nice boot after doing x-rays and an MRI because I have a severe shin splint.  I guess the only good thing is I am not in a cast.  At first the doctor thought it was a stress fracture.  But the MRI showed it wasn't to that point yet. Thank goodness. So I guess you could call that a bit of good luck.  But on the  flip side, I am not able to work out for the next 6-8 weeks.  So when soccer starts I am going to be really out of shape. Oh well.  I will just have to get in shape fast once the season starts.  That is if I am even able to play...

A new year

Well, it is a new year (even though it is half way through the month).  I have set a few goals for myself this year that I am going to accomplish.  The first one is probably going to be the hardest for me.  That is to lose 20 pounds.  I know that doesn't seem like it would be all that hard but for me losing weight is not easy.  So it is a good challenge that I intend on doing.  My second goal is to run 300 miles this year.  This should be fairly easy if I can get my shin splint to cooperate with me. My third goal is to finish one of the games I am working on.  I just need to stay motivated.  The one I am working on right now is just a simple text based game so it shouldn't be too hard to get it done by the end of the year.  I am already about 1/8 of the way done with it already. My last goal is to be debt free by the end of the year.  This will be difficult especially if this year ends up like last year where any extra money we had went to paying medical bills. So we shall see how it goes this year.  So far it hasn't gone all that well with Star breaking her wrist.  But hopefully that will be all that happens. Only time will tell...

I don't get it

Sometimes I just don't get people.  I don't get why they choose to get all offended about something that really isn't a big deal.  Or they are upset because things aren't the way people think they should be.  Some people just need to get over themselves and deal with what life  throws at them.

Lately I have been hearing people complain about how bad the Branch is.  How it sucks being in a branch and not in a ward, etc.  I just don't get why people feel that way.  For some reason they think they would be better off in a ward than in the branch.  And yes, I know who those people are and I know how much the branch has helped them out.  Help that they most likely wouldn't have gotten in a ward.  Are they upset because they have a calling that they don't want?  Are they upset because they think being in a branch in Utah is shameful?  Seriously, I don't understand what their issues with the branch are.

I have been in the branch since its beginning.  So I speak with full authority when I say that being in the branch is way better than how things were before. Before the branch we were going to a ward in Syracuse.  We would go down to church only to be ignored and criticized because we were one of the "Apartment People". We would purposefully be left out of ward activities and everything.  Now explain to me how that is better than being in the branch where everyone is invited to everything (including all our non-member neighbors) and never shunned because of where they live. When the branch was created I had my doubts.  Heck, for the first several months there were like 25 people TOTAL coming to church every week.  Now our average attendance is over 100 (which is getting close to what a wards attendance is). The branch has grown tremendously.  It is wonderful. I love being in the branch.

I know there were people in the branch that were hoping with the boundaries being redone that we would be dissolved into a ward.  I knew that wouldn't happen. And I am glad it didn't.  I like how Pres. Moulding said that for those that don't like how things were changed they should take it up with Pres. Monson since he approved it.  The branch coming into existence is the same way.  It wasn't created by the stake presidency.  I was created by the prophet himself.  It is quite inspiring to hear the story of how the branch came into being.  It was definitely created by divine inspiration.

When I hear people complain about the branch I take it personally. My family is one of the few families left in the branch that have been here since the beginning.  I have spent countless hours making things function as close to a ward as possible. And the branch does function almost like a ward.  In some areas we function better.  But then we get people that move into the branch and just complain about how they don't like the branch and it really annoys me.  What is so different about the branch that it makes it bad to be in?  What?  NOTHING!!!

I would just like to say one last thing and I am sure some people would take what I am going to say personally and get all offended - but I don't care if they get offended because they chose to be offended.  I say if you have a problem with the branch or you want to be in a ward then feel free to move.  You could try having your records moved to a ward, but not liking a branch isn't really a good enough reason for the stake president to approve something like that.  So your best option is to move. If that isn't an option for you then get over yourself and accept the branch for what it is.  Stop trying to tear it down with your negativity and personal  tirades against everyone in the branch that works so hard to keep it going just because you think it should be done differently. Doing so doesn't just sadden those of us that love the branch but it saddens the Lord because HE is the one that created the branch for our benefit.

Ok.  I am going to step off my soapbox now. And no, I am not sorry if I offended anyone.