If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't
work there, you live in Utah.
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Utah
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed
the wrong number, you live in Utah.
If 'vacation' means going anywhere south of Salt Lake City for the
weekend, you live in Utah.
If you measure distance in hours, you live in Utah.
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you
live in Utah.
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' and back again in the same
day, you live in Utah.
If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both
unlocked, you live in Utah.
If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
blizzard without flinching, you live in Utah.
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you
live in Utah.
If the speed limit on the highway is 75 mph -- you're going 80, and
everyone is still passing you, you live in Utah.
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
with snow, you live in Utah.
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and
road construction, you live in Utah.
If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly' you live in Utah.
If you actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your
friends, you live in Utah.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Close To, Round About, Near By
One Sunday, the minister was talking on baptism and in the course of his sermon he was illustrating that baptism should be performed by sprinkling and not by immersion by pointing out some instances from the Bible.
He said, “In the Bible where it says that John baptized Christ ‘in’ the River Jordan it didn’t mean ‘in’ but meant close to, round about, or near by. Then again where it tells us that Phillip baptized the eunuch in the river it didn’t mean ‘in’ but close to, round about, or near by.”
After the service, as the people were filing out, one old fellow stopped by the minister and said, “Reverend, that was the best sermon I ever heard and it uncovered many of the mysteries of the Bible to me. For example, it tells us in the Old Testament that Jonah was ‘in’ the whale for three days which seemed hard for me to believe but now I see that he was not ‘in’ the whale, but that he was close to, round about, or near by swimming in the water.”
“Then there is the story about the three young Hebrew boys who where thrown ‘into’ the fiery furnace but not burned. Well, it seemed impossible but now I see they were not ‘in’ the furnace but were close to, round about, or near by just keeping warm. But the hardest to believe was where Daniel was thrown ‘in’ the lion’s den but wasn’t hurt. Now I see that he wasn’t ‘in’ the den but was close to, round about, or just near by…like at the zoo.”
“The revealing of these mysteries was very rewarding to me, but the greatest comfort of your sermon was because I am a wicked man who sinned much and it tells us in the Bible that the wicked will be cast into Hell. But now I see that I won’t be cast ‘into’ Hell but ‘close to, round about, or near by’!”
“And…next Sunday, I won’t have to be ‘in’ church; I can just be close to, round about, or near by. Thanks for the sermon. You have really put my mind at ease.”
-- Author Unknown
He said, “In the Bible where it says that John baptized Christ ‘in’ the River Jordan it didn’t mean ‘in’ but meant close to, round about, or near by. Then again where it tells us that Phillip baptized the eunuch in the river it didn’t mean ‘in’ but close to, round about, or near by.”
After the service, as the people were filing out, one old fellow stopped by the minister and said, “Reverend, that was the best sermon I ever heard and it uncovered many of the mysteries of the Bible to me. For example, it tells us in the Old Testament that Jonah was ‘in’ the whale for three days which seemed hard for me to believe but now I see that he was not ‘in’ the whale, but that he was close to, round about, or near by swimming in the water.”
“Then there is the story about the three young Hebrew boys who where thrown ‘into’ the fiery furnace but not burned. Well, it seemed impossible but now I see they were not ‘in’ the furnace but were close to, round about, or near by just keeping warm. But the hardest to believe was where Daniel was thrown ‘in’ the lion’s den but wasn’t hurt. Now I see that he wasn’t ‘in’ the den but was close to, round about, or just near by…like at the zoo.”
“The revealing of these mysteries was very rewarding to me, but the greatest comfort of your sermon was because I am a wicked man who sinned much and it tells us in the Bible that the wicked will be cast into Hell. But now I see that I won’t be cast ‘into’ Hell but ‘close to, round about, or near by’!”
“And…next Sunday, I won’t have to be ‘in’ church; I can just be close to, round about, or near by. Thanks for the sermon. You have really put my mind at ease.”
-- Author Unknown
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
My Poor Knee
Well, I really did a number on my knee during my last soccer game. I sprained the muscle in the inside of my knee and probably tore my meniscus. I have an MRI Friday and then I will know for sure. If it is torn then I will need surgery to fix it. So much for a good soccer season. I am hoping I will get lucky and I won't have to have surgery or I will be able to play the last few games of the season.
How did I do all this damage to my knee? It was near the end of the game on Friday. We were down 2-1 and running out of time. The ball was kicked up in front of me by about 10 yards. I went sprinting after the ball. So did one of their defenders. We got to the ball at the same time. I went in kicking with most of my strength to make sure I won the ball. So did he. The difference is that I turned my foot out to control the ball so that I had it at my feet after we hit the ball. He didn't. He went straight on. We both hit the ball at the same time. I won the ball all right. But in the process my knee bent out in a way that it isn't supposed to bend. I didn't feel any pain right off. It took a couple steps before that happened. But it was bad. I tried to jog on it but that wasn't happening. So I subbed out of the game. I knew it was bad. I just hoped it wasn't a season ending bad. But it looks like it might be.
What is sad is that back in the day I took hits like that all the time and didn't think twice about them. My knees could take it. They were strong back then. They aren't so strong now. Maybe it is getting time for me to hang up the cleats. But the more I think about that the more I don't think I will. I have always said that as long as I can run I can play. And that is how it is going to play out as far as I am concerned. I will keep on playing until I can't play any more. Then I will just have to turn to coaching. It isn't as fun but it is close. But I feel like I have several years of playing time left in me before I am ready to retire from playing. I look forward to the day I get the go ahead to play again...
How did I do all this damage to my knee? It was near the end of the game on Friday. We were down 2-1 and running out of time. The ball was kicked up in front of me by about 10 yards. I went sprinting after the ball. So did one of their defenders. We got to the ball at the same time. I went in kicking with most of my strength to make sure I won the ball. So did he. The difference is that I turned my foot out to control the ball so that I had it at my feet after we hit the ball. He didn't. He went straight on. We both hit the ball at the same time. I won the ball all right. But in the process my knee bent out in a way that it isn't supposed to bend. I didn't feel any pain right off. It took a couple steps before that happened. But it was bad. I tried to jog on it but that wasn't happening. So I subbed out of the game. I knew it was bad. I just hoped it wasn't a season ending bad. But it looks like it might be.
What is sad is that back in the day I took hits like that all the time and didn't think twice about them. My knees could take it. They were strong back then. They aren't so strong now. Maybe it is getting time for me to hang up the cleats. But the more I think about that the more I don't think I will. I have always said that as long as I can run I can play. And that is how it is going to play out as far as I am concerned. I will keep on playing until I can't play any more. Then I will just have to turn to coaching. It isn't as fun but it is close. But I feel like I have several years of playing time left in me before I am ready to retire from playing. I look forward to the day I get the go ahead to play again...
Monday, May 2, 2011
Loser Like Me
I just watched my favorite episode of Glee. I like it because it has a couple songs that I can relate to.
The Glee song Loser Like Me (Glee Cast Version)
is very fitting for me. I spent most of my life feeling like a loser. There are times when I still feel that way. I hope that someday that will change. I haven't given up hope yet even though there have been many times when I wanted to give up. But giving up isn't in my nature. I will just keep on trying.
The other Glee song Get It Right (Glee Cast Version)
is fitting for me as well. I keep screwing everything up. Someday I will get it right - or at least I hope I will. Right now it seems that no matter what I do it isn't the right thing for me to do even though I feel like it is. It is really frustrating.
I guess I am just one of those people that probably doesn't belong in society because either I don't understand society or society doesn't understand me. Maybe it is a little bit of both. I will tell you one thing. Being a social outcast gets really lonely at times. Especially when you need a good friend to talk to. Good friends are hard to come by and right now I feel like I am lacking in that area. Maybe someday I will have a good friend again that I can talk with and hang out with. But right now I will just suffer through life without one.
The Glee song Loser Like Me (Glee Cast Version)
is very fitting for me. I spent most of my life feeling like a loser. There are times when I still feel that way. I hope that someday that will change. I haven't given up hope yet even though there have been many times when I wanted to give up. But giving up isn't in my nature. I will just keep on trying.The other Glee song Get It Right (Glee Cast Version)
is fitting for me as well. I keep screwing everything up. Someday I will get it right - or at least I hope I will. Right now it seems that no matter what I do it isn't the right thing for me to do even though I feel like it is. It is really frustrating.I guess I am just one of those people that probably doesn't belong in society because either I don't understand society or society doesn't understand me. Maybe it is a little bit of both. I will tell you one thing. Being a social outcast gets really lonely at times. Especially when you need a good friend to talk to. Good friends are hard to come by and right now I feel like I am lacking in that area. Maybe someday I will have a good friend again that I can talk with and hang out with. But right now I will just suffer through life without one.
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